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Well you have good skill at projecting motion and i can tell you spent alot of time making it smooth, good job.
if you want to make it better try editing voices in any old sound editing prograhm, dont do subtitles like u did put them where ever they will be out of the animation and you should defenalty re-do your dawn to night transitions they were a bit rough and last but not least try not to make it that long if possible. Great work
look forward to your future summisions.